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Christina Antoinette Anderson
15 February 2009 @ 07:15 pm
167. TEN miracles you've witnessed.


1. I was in a lot of pain and a bit delirious but the birth of my son is the best miracle I've ever witnessed.
2. Every time Andy comes back to me.
3. To see Jacky and Andy getting along.
4. Watching my boys play and bond.
5. Surviving the last few years.
6. Just my son, everyday feels like a miracle because I have him.
7. Andy, he provides most of my miracles.
8. Jacky's random acts of kindness.
9. Being in love.
10. Waking up every morning with Andy wrapped around me.

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
150. TEN Christmas/Hannukah/Holiday of your choice traditions.


1. Danny and I always make cookies for Santa.
2. Jack dresses up like Santa and sneaks into the house to put presents under the tree.
3. One of us (it's best when it's Andy) lifts Danny up to put the tree topper on the tree. It's an angel.
4. Danny makes a new ornament every year.
5. When Andy's here we sit by the tv with that fake fire on it and just watch it, talking.
6. Christmas morning, getting woken up at 5 am by my son begging to open presents.
7. Baking a ham and pumpkin pie.
8. Hanging the stockings.
9. Watching Christmas movies for three days straight before Christmas.
10. Opening one present on Christmas Eve. Just one.

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
19 June 2008 @ 11:29 am
Danny's playing soccer. He loves it.
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
18 June 2008 @ 10:28 pm
I wish he could choose us.
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
long ago
and oh so far away
I fell in love with you
before the second show
your guitar
it sounds so sweet and clear
but you're not really there
it's just the radio

don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do

loneliness, is such a sad affair
and I can hardly wait
to be with you again
what to say
to make you come again
come back to me again
and play your sad guitar

don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do

don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do


Do you have any idea what it's like to love a drug addict? Someone who holds meth up in higher esteem than you and the son you have together. How you pray that this time he'll be able to kick the habit. He's the kind of person who can look at you and then he'll see right through you, into your eyes like fire. When he looks at me I can see everything he wants to be. Everything he wishes he could do for me and Danny. I feel the way he loves me when he looks at me. I feel the way he wants to be a better man.

Sometimes it hurts so badly though because why can't he just give up the drugs for me and Danny? Why can't we be enough for him when Meth seems to leave him high and dry. Sometimes I'm so afraid that I won't be able to keep giving him chances. I feel like I've given him hundreds already. Hundred's and thousands of chances to come back to me and be the man that I know he is. Inside he's an amazing man and he could do so much good in the world. But he lets it control him, he lets it pull him under into the abyss. He lets it chase away his problems and his pain. The pain he's so justified in feeling.

I just want to be enough for him.

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character
Word Count | 242
 
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
04 April 2008 @ 07:03 pm
086. TEN things you would never ever do.


1. Give up on Andy.
2. Put my Son in danger.
3. Take drugs.
4. Run away.
5. Give up.
6. Be with anyone but Andy.
7. Fall in love with someone else.
8. Forgive my parents.
9. Forget all the pain people in my life have caused me.
10. Drink.

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
07 March 2008 @ 01:12 pm
79. TEN things you know about someone else.


1. Andy Sparrow is a recovering drug addict. Depending on what day it is you might want to take out the recovering part but he really tries.

2. He has a son named Daniel and a brother named Jack.

3. He used to break a lot of bones when he was a kid. He always had casts covered in drawings.

4. His first tattoo was my name above his heart.

5. His older brother taught him how to repair cars and they re-built this old mustang when Andy was fifteen.

6. He was homeless for about a year.

7. He's been in jail before but I know that he's just been trying to survive for as long as he could and did the best he could with what he had.

8. He loves his family more than just about anything (except drugs sometimes).

9. He used to read obscure books just for the hell of it.

10. He hates entitled people with a passion, which means my parents don't rate very high on that list.

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
072. TEN cryptic (or not so cryptic) notes to people you know.


1. Sometimes I hate you because you can't choose us but I can't seem to hate you more than I love you. It makes everything hurt that much more when you leave.
2. I hate you for never looking at your grandson and seeing his worth.
3. You will never know what your help and support has meant to me.
4. I love you.
5. You are my world little one and I would not be able to exist without you. I'm sorry I can't be stronger but I do the best that I can.
6. I know how you feel about me. I'm sorry.
7. There is nothing you could do and that's the hardest part.
8. I've never been the person you wanted me to be; why did you want so much?
9. Don't forget the milk.
10. My heart hurts. I want it to stop.

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
30 December 2007 @ 11:46 pm
049. TEN questions you will never answer.


1. Why am I not enough for you?
2. Why can't you just look at your grandson?
3. Jacky, why are you so angry?
4. Why can't you just stop baby?
5. Why don't you understand that I just love you?
6. Why can't you look at me anymore?
7. Why do you think I love him?
8. Is there something you want?
9. Why are you looking at me like that?
10. Do you get that I just know what I want?

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character
 
 
Christina Antoinette Anderson
30 December 2007 @ 11:38 pm
TEN things about Chris Anderson


1. My first and only love got me pregnant when I was eighteen years old. He subsequently left us behind because he couldn't deal with reality or kick his drug problem.

2. My son's name is Daniel Andrew Anderson. Danny is my life. I could not make it if it were not for my son. He's my reason.

3. Andy. He's the guy I lost my virginity too, my best friend, the person who I love beyond all fucking reason. He's also a drug addict, the father of my son and the person who hurts me the most in the world.

4. My parents cut me off when I when they found out about Danny. They never liked Andy.

5. Andy and I were together for three years before things started getting bad. His mother committed suicide when we were sixteen.

6. I come from a "privileged" upbringing but my parents were never really around. It's just as well really because I'm not sure I was more to them than just someone to talk about at cocktail parties.

7. Andy's brother, Jacky, was the one who supported me for years after I had Danny.

8. I never drink. I never do drugs. And I never will.

9. Andy thinks everyone falls in love with me. I think he's crazy and slightly possessive.

10. I'm angry about so many things but I can't seem to hold onto it for long. At least not when Andy is involved. I seem to be incapable of holding a grudge against Andy. I have so much faith in him its scary.

Muse | Chris Anderson
Fandom | Original Character